Learned a Lesson
Years ago, when I thought I was the ideal coach, I went to a seminar led by Royce Gracie. I brought my children and some of the other kids from the academy with me.
While the adults were focused on the seminar, the children were off to the side playing, laughing, and cutting up. I didn’t like it. I thought they should be paying attention and taking the training seriously, so I chastised them.
Royce noticed what was happening and quietly pulled me aside. He told me, “Let the children play.”
It was a simple comment, but it made me stop and think. I had been so focused on the training that I forgot the children were children. They weren’t there to act like adults or treat every moment as a serious lesson. They needed room to enjoy themselves, too.
Later, I remember Royce talking about his father playing with the children and the family. He described a water-gun competition they had together. I thought that was such a cool picture: a father who was willing to get out there and play with the kids. It helped me understand that playfulness and discipline don’t have to be opposites. Children need both.
That moment changed how I thought about coaching. Jiu-jitsu training matters. We want children to learn discipline, respect, skill, and perseverance. But if we make every part of training serious, we can take away the joy that makes them want to come back.
A good children’s class needs balance. There should be focused instruction and hard work, but there should also be games, laughter, movement, and chances for kids to simply be kids. We need to make training something they look forward to—not just something we expect them to endure.
I still believe in teaching children the right way and helping them grow through jiu-jitsu. But I also remember Royce’s words: let the children play. Sometimes the best thing a coach can do is step back, give them room to enjoy the moment, and remember that having fun is part of learning.
